To Alcohol! The Cause of (and Solution To) All of Life’s Little Problems

20 01 2010

Image Credit: 20th Century Fox and Matt Groening

This month marks the 20th anniversary of America’s favorite yellow family, the Simpsons. In the past two decades, the town of Springfield has given us much important advice when it comes to the consumption of beer. Here are twenty of our favorite beer and alcohol related quotes from The Simpsons. I am sure I missed a bunch. What is your favorite Simpson’s beer quote?

20: ““MMM…beeeer!”

19. “Son, a woman is a lot like a… a refrigerator! They’re about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and… um… Oh, wait a minute. Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you’d step over your own mother just to get one!”

18. “Aw, there’s only one can of beer left and it’s Bart’s.”

17. “Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy’s piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure … not even close.”

16. “Oh, Lisa, you and your stories … Bart’s a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let’s go back to that … building … thingie … where our beds and TV … is.”

15. “All right, Homey, you’re overstimulated. As soon as we get you home, we’ll get some beer into you, and then it’s straight to bed.”

14. “Oh Boy! Beer! Beer! Beer! Bed! Bed! Bed!”

13.  “Beer… Now there’s a temporary solution.”

12. “Now son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs.”

11. “I like my beer cold… my TV loud… and my homosexuals flaming.”

10. Glen: Why don’t you come chat with us at our welcome center?
Homer: Will there be beer?
Glen: Beer is not allowed.
Homer: Homer no function well beer without.

9. “Oh My God! You need booze!” – Dr. Nick Riveria when seeing a comatose Mr. Smithers undergoing anaphalatic shock outside the hospital.

8. “Do you have that beer with candy at the bottom? You know? Skittlebrau?”

7. Homer: There is something in this beer I can’t quite put my finger on?
(Cut to a brewery with dogs swimming in the fermenter)
Brewer: Hmmm, needs more dog.

6. “Ahhh, beer! There’s nothing like a depressant to chase the blues away!”

5. “Just Put it to my vein!” -Barney Gumble after winning a life time supply of duff beer.



2. “To Alcohol! The cause of (and solution to) all of life’s little problems!”

1. “All right, brain. You don’t like me and I don’t like you, but let’s just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.”




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